People Only Treat You The Ways In Which You ALLOW Them To.
Posted Under: Journaling,Open Book,Writings On The Walls
For SOME, its a hard pill to swallow in accepting and acknowledging the FACT that when they are unhappy or dissatisfied with the ways in which someone in their lives is treating them, it usually has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that the individual is ALLOWING the other person to mistreat, use, abuse or take full advantage.
I use to have a SERIOUS problem with removing individuals from my life. I could not find the strength or the energy to say Im done, feel that Im truly done, and actually BE DONE with the relationship; romantic or otherwise.
I aways found a REASON or an EXCUSE to welcome the individual back into my life and into my personal space following an event or issue that deeply plagued my spirit. I would sincerely feel that the bond was broken, BUT would hold on to the relationship in FEAR of not having it. I would honestly think to myself, ‘I dont want anyone else having him’ or ‘I dont want him/her to make another friend to replace me.’ I use to allow those unhealthy thoughts to saturate and filtrate through my mind. The result would be my decision to continuously put up with and endure situations, experiences and circumstances that became incredibly unhealthy and literally, unbareable.
One of the most difficult elements in life is LETTING GO of someone who has ever contributed anything positive or fulfilling to our lives. Death forces seperation. Physical Distance creates a divide. However, when we as humans have to CHOOSE to BREAK OUR BONDS, even during moments of stress and anguish, we often opt to STAY and simply PUT UP WITH IT. That’s the point at which many of us make a MISTAKE based upon our emotional attachment.
IF you allow someone to cheat on you without consequence, he or she WILL cheat on you again. No one ever simply cheats once. IF you allow someone to hit you wthout repercussion, he or she WILL hit you again. IF you allow someone to lie and get away with it, he or she will always lie to you to cover their tracks or misgivings. IF you allow someone to take advantage of your kindness, as well as taking your presense for granted, he or she will NEVER grow to appreciate you.
As an individual, you should only have to tell someone ONCE that they’ve said or done something to hurt, annoy, stress or bother you. IF the actions and/or behaviors continue, then the individual is being disrespectful and disregarding of your feeings. Its at that very moment that you must make the decision to LET GO or LIVE ON under circumstances that shall forever make you feel uncomfortable.
Reader Comments
I have lost and broken so many bonds. The most recent being my brother who out of no where go shipped to the marines. I couldn’t take it. The last thing i needed was that,but i coped with it and as long as i can some contact ill be all right. There isn’t room for me to ramble on about all the bonds ive lost,but theres more i’ve kept than lost. People realize what a friend i am. Thats the good thing.
I have to agree with you Xem people only abuse you if they feel they can and i will admit that i am guilty of letting people do that in the past i think we should all take time to evaluate who is necessary and who needs to go and not let them come back
That is so true!!!!!!!!!
The way in which we think of ourselves has everything to do with how our world sees us.
- Arlene Raven
It begins and ends within us.
Dude, I totally relate to what you are saying. I was in that situation so many times growing up. In life, we sometimes fall into conditions where we take care of others before ourselves. We become to attached to people that it’s hard to let go. When you’re starting to let go, it is extremely difficult. But everyday, it’s easy, easy, and easy. You just got to make it through.
That’s what I’ve been taught and I am so glad I learned this early. I haven’t even turned 20 yet, but I mentally grew faster than I expected.